


Talk Me Down

by LovelyJehan



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicidal Thoughts, M/M, Past Relationships, Post-Split, Spencer is a good friend, TW: Mentions of Suicide/Suicidal thoughts, Talk Me Down (song)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 05:52:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8611186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyJehan/pseuds/LovelyJehan
Summary: “- and anyway, I’m worried about him. He, er, didn’t sound okay. I think he’s gonna, y’know. Um -“ Spencer swallowed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song Talk Me Down by Troye Sivan.

It’s late when Spencer calls him. 3 am to be exact. Brendon was still wide awake. Reaching over to the table beside his bed to answer the ringing phone. 

“Hey, man.” Brendon greets when he answers the call. 

“Hey, Bren. I uh, I have a favour to ask of you.” 

“Shoot.” 

“Well, uh, Ryan’s just called me -“ 

Brendon almost dropped his phone. 

“- and anyway, I’m worried about him. He, er, didn’t sound okay. I think he’s gonna, y’know. Um -“ Spencer swallowed, “- attempt. Look I know you two aren’t exactly on speaking terms right now, but, you’re closer to his place than I am. He’s been my best friend since kindergarten, I just need to make sure he’s okay.” 

“Um, yeah, sure.” Brendon was going to regret this later, he just _knew_ it. 

Spencer breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thanks. Do you need me to send you his address or -?”

“- No, I’ve got it. I’ll talk to you later.” 

Spencer uttered another ‘thank you’ before he hung up. Brendon took a few deep breaths before quickly putting on some clothes and then jumped into his car. As he was driving the full extent of the situation hit him like a tonne of bricks. People attempt suicide all the time, but, that doesn’t make it right. It doesn’t justify the act in any way, shape or form. It takes away the pain of the person, but it places the pain into someone who just lost a mother, father, daughter, son, friend, family member or lover. 

The closer Brendon got to Ryan’s place, the more he had to brace himself for the possibility that Ryan could be. Dead. The thought made Brendon _terrified_. Terrified for Spencer. Terrified for Ryan. Terrified for himself. As Brendon shut of the engine to the car when he was in Ryan’s driveway, he prepared for whatever state he may find the other man in. 

Brendon walks up to the front door. He turns the knob. Locked. ‘ _Thank God for Spencer.’_ Brendon thought as he reached for the spare key that Spencer told him was always under the door mat. He unlocked the door and jumped out of his skin when he saw Ryan just standing behind it. Eyes glazed over and looking blankly ahead. 

“Ry?” Brendon whispered. 

Ryan made no noise, put raised his hand and pointed at the door. _Go_. Brendon wasn’t going to fall for that one again. He shook his head. Again Ryan pointed towards the door and again Brendon stood still. It would only be a matter of time before Ryan would cave, thoughts too heavy for the body that encompassed them.

“I’m not leaving. Not until I’m sure that you’re okay.” He stated. 

Ryan didn’t move. Didn’t let Brendon in any further, but didn’t tell him to go away. Progress. Brendon was familiar with this process. The process of talking Ryan down. He knew that he had to wait for Ryan to come to him, before he was able to aid Ryan. 

The first tears began to cascade down Ryan’s face, he never made much noise when crying. Too many years at home with an abusive father had taught him to do that and he never shook that habit. It caused Brendon to feel a sharp pain in his stomach for the other man.

“Let’s just sit down, yeah?” Brendon said, guiding Ryan to the lounge room to sit down. 

They didn’t make it far before Ryan buckled and the pair of them dropped to the floor in a heap of limbs. As Brendon collected himself, Ryan crawled into his lap and buried his head in Brendon’s neck. Brendon rubbed a comforting hand up and down Ryan’s back. 

“W-why d-d-did he-e have to, to, to send you.” Ryan stammered through his tears. 

“Because he was worried about you and I was the closest person to you.” He replied, calmly.

“Convenient.” Ryan said, sarcastically. It was almost as if he wasn’t crying at all. 

Brendon made no reply. 

“C’mon. It’s late. Let’s just, get some sleep.” He said in a small voice, and then, as if to prove his point, Ryan yawned.

“Alright.” Brendon replied. 

They got to their feet and Ryan led Brendon to his bedroom. 

“The guest room isn’t set up.” Ryan said as he climbed into the bed.

“We used to share all the time. This won’t be any different.” Brendon said as he got into the empty side of Ryan’s bed. 

~*~

It was a restless night for Brendon, worried that Ryan may be waiting for him to sleep so that he could do something terrible to himself. Ryan was fast asleep, subconsciously moving closer to Brendon in his sleep. Brendon moved his arms around the older man and when he was satisfied, Brendon finally drifted off to a dreamless sleep. 

Ryan woke first. Confused, then the memories from the night before presented themselves. The pain. The goodbye call to Spencer. Brendon. _Brendon_. The arms wrapped around his torso belonged to the other man. The one who had travelled just to make sure that Ryan wouldn’t do anything stupid. Ryan blinked back tears that had begun to surface, he hated that he was being reminded of the man that he had left. Ryan was toxic. So, _so,_ toxic and he would only bring bad things to Brendon. 

Ryan left because he never really wanted the fame. A chance to express himself. A chance to do something amazing and rare with his best friends. Yes. The fame that cam along with it? No. Not at all. He hadn’t meant to hurt anyone, but, he did. He hurt _everyone_ and now here was a reminder of what he had done and he so desperately wished he hadn’t called Spencer. Write him a note, a text and e-mail. Anything other than call the other man, wake him from his sleep and then have him send over Ryan’s ex. Ex-bandmate. Ex-friend. Ex- _boy_ friend. 

Ryan hadn’t realised that he was sobbing until he was aware that Brendon was awake and was pulling the older boy closer to him. 

“Hey, hey. Ryan. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m going to protect you. Always.” Brendon whispered in his ear.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Ryan said. Apologising for leaving Brendon alone. Apologising for making him leave the comfort of his home to make sure that Ryan was alright. Apologising for almost doing the unthinkable. 

Brendon kissed the side of Ryan’s forehead in response. He felt the most content he had been since he had left.

“We’re gonna get you some help, Ryan Ross.” 

“Thank you.” Ryan murmured. 

“Always.” 

**Author's Note:**

> [come talk to me](https://naughtyryro.tumblr.com/)


End file.
